Tusk follows Wallace (Justin Long), an emotionally stunted podcast host, who ventures north of Winnipeg in search of stories. What he finds is Howard Howe (Michael Parks) a retired sailor with some incredible tales to tell.
Michael Parks as the eloquently deranged recluse is almost worth the price of admission, but things go sideways quickly. Howard Howe captures Wallace and intends to turn him into a human-walrus hybrid. Instead of building up the horror, Smith bogs us down in flashbacks about how Wallace (a thoroughly unsympathetic character) became a bad boyfriend.
But what is even more fascinating is Jersey Boy Kevin Smith's ongoing obsession with Canada. Tusk is riddled with lame and lazy jokes about Canadiana, characters that say "aboot" and a convenience store chain called the "Eh 2 Zed."
There's even an inexplicable extended cameo by Johnny Depp as a ridiculous retired member of the Sûreté du Québec that makes Inspector Clouseau look like Dirty Harry.
Adding to the strangeness is the fact that Kevin Smith actually attended film school in Vancouver before dropping out, so he knows exactly what he's mocking.
Tusk is the first in Smith's so-called True North Trilogy. The second in the trio, Yoga Hosers, is already in production, featuring performances from Smith's and Johnny Depp's 15-year-old daughters.
That will be to be followed by Moose Jaws—about a man-eating moose.
Oh Canada indeed.
2 stars out of 5
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